


Close Your Eyes

by queercapwriting (queergirlwriting)



Category: The Bold Type
Genre: F/F, Oops?, because how could it not, okay i'm gonna stop writing minifics in the tags, poor adena, these girls and their bathtub talks, will be a huge side feature
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2018-12-18 04:39:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11866911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queergirlwriting/pseuds/queercapwriting
Summary: A series of Kadena one-shots.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vulnerability

She told her that she completely threw her off her game.

Adena didn’t understand -- how could she? -- how deeply true that was.

Because Kat wasn’t lying when she said she didn’t do emotions, and she wasn’t making excuses when she said she wasn’t good at relationships.

She was just trying to be honest.

Wasn’t that what people did in relationships? Sutton seemed to think so. Jane seemed to be learning something like that.

Honesty. Trust. Vulnerability.

And that was it, probably.

She did emotions -- she did emotions, hard and fast and without stopping to think before she dove: it’s what made her good at her job; it’s what made her _want_ her job; it’s what made her a fabulous friend -- she just didn’t do vulnerability.

If someone’s name wasn’t Sutton or Jane.

So when she came up with #TypeWithKindess -- when Jacqueline let her cry and didn’t call her weak and didn’t say she was overreacting and should just get over it already -- she was vulnerable with the world.

But not with the woman she wanted to show vulnerability to.

To share vulnerability with.

Kat did nothing halfway.

Except vulnerability. Romantically, anyway.

Until Adena.

Until Adena told her to put away her phone and just watch, just breathe, just... listen.

And maybe she never stopped hustling because hustling is easier than just... listening.

Just... being.

So when she told Adena that she completely threw her off her game, she wasn’t sure it she was ready.

But damn, was she.

Because that kiss? Those kisses?

They were barely inside Adena’s door before Kat drew eager lips to Adena’s jawline, to her neck, and her entire body shivered at the way Adena breathed in sharp, full of voice. Alive. Turned on. By her, by Kat. By Kat’s confession, by her mouth.

By her vulnerability.

And somehow, Kat’s assertive even in her vulnerability. Maybe that will change, some day, maybe soon.

But for that night?

For that night, she was the one who guided Adena’s hands under her shirt, the one who brushed off Adena’s questions about are you sure and _we can stop whenever you want_ with hungry lips and even hungrier eyes.

She shivered when Adena breathed her name and she let Adena hold her, kiss the back of her neck, let herself fall asleep in Adena’s arms.

So this vulnerability thing? Might not be so bad after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from from @ownyourstage on tumblr (my tumblr is queercapwriting) -- “I'd love to see your take on kadena's first date as girlfriends. I live for nervous kat”

She takes her to the waterfront in Dumbo, because the lights settling over the East River and the sound of children squealing on the playground and other couples debating the merits of different ice cream flavors sounds like something Adena would like.

People to study, photographs to take. 

Hands to hold.

Because they’ve walked the city before -- they’ve strolled and they’ve talked and laughed and shared and stared -- but they hadn’t held hands yet.

Not outside of the bedroom, anyway, not outside of their fingers linking as their ragged breathing syncs up.

And to be honest, Kat isn’t quite sure how the whole hand-holding thing works.

Not because Adena’s a woman. Not because this lesbian shit is intense.

But because hand-holding isn’t a very Kat thing. 

She would take out her phone and ask Jane, ask Sutton. She wants to kick herself for not asking while they got her dressed and pumped for this damn date. 

She would take out her phone and ask them, but Adena likes it when she’s present.

And she’s trying to be. And it feels... surprisingly good.

So she’s got to figure out this whole hand-holding thing on her own.

It doesn’t help when her palms start to sweat. 

No one would ever accuse Kat of overthinking. Ever. Nooo.

Except her heart is racing way too fast and she’s pretty sure Adena is talking to her, something about whether she wants to get ice cream.

She tries to answer Adena’s actual question. She really does.

But her lips don’t cooperate.

“How do I hold your hand? I’m not asking because of the girl thing, you know, it’s not that. It’s really not. It’s just like I told you, this whole relationship thing is new for me, and I -- what -- what are you doing?”

Because suddenly her fingers are linked with Adena’s, sweaty palms and all, and she’s not quite sure how that happened.

“I’m holding your hand, Kat,” Adena explains patiently, a soft smile and deep, deep affection on her face.

“I... right, of course you are, I -- “

“Kat. Breathing. Breathing is important. We don’t have to hold hands if it’s too -- “

Kat tightens her newfound grip on Adena’s hand. “No! No, no, I want to. I’m sorry, I should be smoother at this, I -- “

“You were plenty smooth the other night, Kat,” Adena arches an eyebrow, and Kat gulps.

“So you wanted ice cream?” she squeaks, and Adena bites her lip joyfully.

“Yes. Yes, I would love some.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:  
> Can you do a jealous Kat fanfic please with Adena reassuring Kat she's only hers 

“Oh babe,” she murmurs as Sutton talks, as Sutton tries to refuse to cry. Jane passes her the bottle of wine and Sutton drinks.

Deeply.

She exchanges a glance with Jane.

You can tell her, the glance says.

Kat shrugs. Maybe she can, but does she really want to? Right now? With Sutton drunk in her bathtub?

She smiles softly to herself. Of course she does.

“So Adena’s back. And she says she’s done with Coco. For good.”

“Oh honey, you’re about to need this more than I do,” Sutton pushes the bottle back into Kat’s hands, because she knows Kat doesn’t do the feelings thing, doesn’t do the relationship thing. 

Doesn’t do the vulnerability thing. Well, with people other than her and Jane, anyway.

“You don’t believe her?” Jane asks, reaching for the bottle and for Kat’s hand.

Kat sighs and takes a long swig before surrendering the wine.

“It’s not that I don’t believe she’s telling the truth. I do. I just… what if the truth changes? You know? That happens, right? In relationship things? People change their minds, feelings change, right? That’s what happened with Coco, so why won’t it happen with me?”

Jane leans down to rest her head on one of Kat’s thighs, and Sutton mirrors her on the other side. Kat swoops to save the wine bottle from tilting and spilling. 

Priorities.

“Sounds like you have a lot of things to ask your lady, babe.”

Kat sighs before Sutton’s words sink in, and then she just grins.

“I’ve got myself a lady,” she singsongs.

Jane and Sutton both squeal, and then no amount of priorities can save the wine.

It’s the next night when Kat takes Sutton’s advice.

She wrings her hands together and watches Adena watching the water, the skyline, and wonders if she’s about to blow everything up. 

Again.

“So can I ask you something?” she asks, and Adena jumps slightly like she’s forgotten Kat’s there. Like she was so absorbed in her thoughts, so in the moment, that she was simultaneously somewhere else. 

A kind of heat flares in Kat’s stomach, and she’s not sure if it’s jealousy or insecurity. Or if it even makes a difference. Either way, she doesn’t like it. Either way, she’s wondering if Adena was thinking about someone else, and the words tumble out of her mouth as soon as Adena’s of course you can, Kat is spoken.

“We talked about this whole monogamy thing, right, the thing where we’re exclusive and only dating each other. And I’m down, I’m in, I… there was this whole Soul Cycle thing, I told you, and it… I… I’m in, Adena, I am, but I… are you? I mean, how do I know you’re not… you meet all these gorgeous women, all around the world, right, with your photography, I mean, that’s what I was, right? Someone you met on your travels, in your career, and then…”

She trails off, uncharacteristically wordless. She doesn’t want to shame Adena – it’s not her style and it’s not her politics, but god, does she feel it. 

Fear, preemptive pain.

Insecurity. Jealousy.

Smatterings of guilt for taking Adena away from someone else.

No, she reminds herself. Adena’s a grown woman and makes her own choices and – 

“Go on, Kat. You can finish your sentence, it’s okay.” Adena’s voice is soft, and her eyes, softer.

Kat shakes her head and looks out at the city.

“No, I was done.”

“You weren’t.” It’s a statement, but a gentle one, and Kat wonders, not for the first time, where Adena gets her calm from.

“I wasn’t,” Kat admits. “But I don’t want to finish the sentence, I just…”

“You just want me to tell you that I’m only yours. That what happened with Coco won’t happen with us.”

Kat wrenches her eyes away from the skyline and into Adena’s.

“Yeah.”

Adena nods and sighs and worries at her lip.

“I didn’t leave Coco for you. I was done with that relationship long before we met, but I… you gave me the courage I needed. To leave. And the thing I learned, from all that? If you and I reach that point, Kat, where I want to leave, but I’m too scared to do it? I’ll just have to be braver, and talk to you, not get emboldened by another woman.”

Kat flinches at that, and Adena holds out her hands. Kat takes them.

“But I don’t want any other women, Kat. I can’t guarantee that we’ll be together forever. No one can guarantee that. But I can tell you that my heart is yours, that I’m committed to you, to this, that I – “

Adena’s words are cut off by Kat’s lips, by Kat’s hands on her waist, by Kat’s tongue tracing Adena’s bottom lip.

“Anything else that’s mine?” Kat whispers with a mischievous grin after a long, decisive kiss.

“Let me take you home and maybe you’ll find out,” Adena smiles back, and that smile?

That smile is something she’ll be dragging Jane and Sutton into the closet to talk about all day tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:  
> Can you write adena's thoughts while she's starting to crush on kat pleaaase ? Sending you lots of love

She doesn’t want to like her.

How could she want to like her?

This overeager American upstart, with gorgeous eyes that have yet to see any of the world but that think they’ve seen everything through the lens of a computer screen, with perfect hands that only ever touch her smart phone, with a sharp, incisive mind that is so, so good at arguing for what she wants, what she knows of her little corner of the world that, to her, seems so big?

She doesn’t want to like her, but her body, her mind, her heart, won’t listen.

Won’t listen, because she spends an evening scrolling through her extensive online profile, through Scarlet’s social media page.

And her approach to social justice may be colored by a U.S.-centric lens, but it’s also colored by being a Black woman in a country that hates Black women, in a country that…

No. She stops herself. 

She stops herself because it’s not her politics that Adena finds herself enthralled by.

It’s the way she leaps before she looks, the way she fiercely defends what she loves, how she loves, who she loves. 

The way the skin behind her eyes crinkle, both when she’s amused and when she’s frustrated.

The way Adena can practically hear the gears turning in her head when she’s confronted with a way of thinking she hasn’t encountered before.

The way she laughs.

With her whole being.

With her whole existence, past, present, and future, culminating and crashing into that point where her lips part and her smile makes her eyes glisten.

She’d love to photograph this woman.

Because this is a woman whose expressions – whose expressiveness – should be immortalized.

She’s not sure when she knows she’s fallen, but she’s sure it didn’t take long.

Because Kat Edison has slipped into the crevices of her mind, and – so much like Kat – she’s steadfastly refusing to leave.


End file.
